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Our close companions with a woman, who has overcome many hardships, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's often blindsided by people. Her husband left her, and it was a massive blow. Many of close acquaintances vanished then, as they were drawn to the spouse. It shocked her deeply. She made greater energy toward our bond, likely grasped better the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

Throughout this period, several in her circle vanished leaving her sure why. Her previous job became hostile, although she was an excellent employee, and she left without knowing what had changed.

Current Dynamics

In recent times, we have each retired leading to more each other more, but I am finding the part I play between us feels one-sided. I open discussion points but she shifts conversation onto what interests her. Regarding political views, she expresses unyielding views. I try to suggest double-checking information or other angles.

She has been organizing a vacation to a country I have traveled to on several occasions and lived in for a while. My intention was to provide advice, however, my input unappreciated. She really solely sought me to confirm her plans. I have come back from a month there she is eager to catch up, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I am unwilling in this role that walks away without a word, but I don't think she'll truly comprehend the impact of how she acts on my confidence. Right now, my state is pulling back. What should I do?

Possible Paths

You could end things abruptly, but it is not often the easy answer that we desire. Yet having a direct talk aiming for resolution requires bravery and readiness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step is to state what typically happens during your discussions. This needs to be objective and clear and essentially an unbiased account. Step two is to tell her how it makes you feel. Ideally, there's no dispute about this. What you feel are valid, of course. The third step involves requesting how the two of you can shift the dynamics between you."

Remember she too has a point of view, meaning you must to be prepared to hear that. One effective method involves stating her:

"Please share your thoughts and I promise to listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

This can be effective to encourage understanding.

Final Thoughts

This person may dismiss your concerns, since certain individuals have a “survival narrative”: they maintain a story about themselves they cannot abandon since their identity depends upon it and it represents they've known. It's tough as there is no easy route in such cases, mere obstacles. But she may at first react defensively and then think about what you've said. And even if you never reach a resolution, it will give you closure knowing you were truthful.